[Evil and Good]

So I'm walking to my car with a group, one of them I get especially close to. She's wearing a sexy dress, cocktail party?, and high heels so she comes just up to the top of my chest; she was pretty little. Pretty. Little thing.

We pass someone in the parking garage but I don't even notice except the red all over him. My group is laughing, talking, something, and over it all the man in red starts to speak behind us.

"I saw her changing tonight, and she was beautiful." he was talking about the girl I was with.

"Excuse me?" I say, trying to puff myself up. I never once looked for her reaction.

"I saw her putting on that dress, and you think it looks good now, but you should have seen her putting it on. She slid that dress up her back real smooth, like it always hung from her shoulders that way." I got pissed and his eyes glossed over. He wore this little pillbox hat and red gloves with gold trim. "Dont get angry, but she wants me pretty bad too, I can tell from here, she let's off that smell like she wants me. You know that smell?" I was furious but I didn't advance. "It's cool man, she can't have me, that's why she wants me so bad."

There was a long pause. The guys in my crowd looked ready to back me up, and the girls backed them up. I led an angry pack of wolves.

Then he says, small, "Can I go now?"

"Get OUT of here!" I point out the entrance to the garage. She trembles back into place on my arm and we walk off to our cars.

* * *

Dreams are fun.

I find that I tend to save bad news till the end of my post, and because that's depressing and I can't help but reevaluate myself, we're gonna try something new now. Today's blog is brought to you by the sliding scale from Evil to Good. So let's start with the bad news first.

[Most Evil]
I started writing this yesterday, but haven't had the energy to finish it. I knew it was going to be a bad day early, but by lunchtime I knew how. I was going to be sick. Did I think about how to be sick best? Nah, I just went to the team van, hoping I could will myself to not throw up on the worksite.

And hour and a half later, it was time and my site supervisor was walking in my direction. I took off my hoodie, took a few big breaths until he had passed, then made my way from the back of the van to the side door. If I hadn't been caught in seatbelts and had to turn the wrong way I might have made it, but I just barely missed the perfect window of opportunity.

A tour passed by, around the other side of the van.
My volunteers from the morning passed, and I covered my head in shame.
Scott, my boss, walked up, "I'm not going to ask how you're feeling, because that would be a stupid question." Maybe if I didn't think Scott was cute, I wouldn't have been so embarassed. I'm going to be "that kid who threw up on the worksite" till our time is up. God-Dammit.

[Equally Evil]

After getting home from work yesterday, I lay down for a nap, and woke seven hours later, only to be given tylenol PM (Will wishes there was more PM in Tylenol PM) to wake up nine hours after that. I missed the team's night on Bourbon street (much less evil), but had to pick them up since I was the only driver on campus. Joy of Joys.

I'll probably miss work tomorrow, which is a shame. We're supposed to be satellite conferencing with Colin Powell on MLK day about service after being treated to a huge breakfast, all on the clock. After that my team is supposed to work at the New Orleans Zoo. GRRRRRRR!!! I'll keep drinking my fluids, but I'm sure the worst of this hasn't hit me.

[Now that our moaning for poor little boy-child is out of the way, we entertain a moment of silence]
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*
*
*
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[...and drink some fluids]

[It is what it is]
I'm getting used to our living quarters. No longer do I toss at night, afraid I'm going to fall off the top bunk. I now know when the time to take a hot shower falls, and have perfected the 4 minute cycle: wet, shampoo hair, wash body, rinse; 1 minute each.

I wake to a different alarm each morning now. Sometimes Anna's, or Andrew's, but the other morning it rang clear and from on high, twice:

Camp Anowanna!
We hold you in our hearts!
And when we think about you!
It makes me wanna Fart!
(slight chuckles)
Camp Anowanna!
We hold you in our hearts!
And when we think about you!
It makes me wanna Fart!
(louder giggling)
Camp Anowa-

[Pretty good]
The food at Camp Hope has been "something to write home about." Each meal is sponsored, Super Hero Thursday or Totally Trippy Tuesday, with Batman Green Beans and Far Out French Fries. And PIE! Raspberry Pie three times a week! Needless to say, I'm extremely happy.

Thursday morning, I had walked into the kitchen without my badge. The kitchen lead pointed to my chest: "Badge," she demanded. It took longer to fish out of my pocket than she liked. "Badge. Badge. Badge." She chanted as others joined, banging pots and counters. "Badge! Badge! Badge!" What a way to wake up.

The day before the routine was, "What campus are you from? Iowa?"
"Yeah, Iowa"
Everyone in the kitchen: "Iowaaaaaa!"
Really very cute.

[Least Evil/Most Good?]
I love my job.

Hours from New Orleans, Will told us four people would have to volunteer to work in the warehouse instead of directly building houses for four weeks. Guess what I chose?

This week I drove a box truck down the interstate, a dualee truck and bobcat around the parking lot, and a huge forklift around the warehouse. My supervisors are Paul and Marco. Marco is a thirty-something cigarette smoking machine with an attention to detail. Paul is fifty-two, never wants children (which is why he's fixed), has had two marriages, and is fucking crazy.

I learned that many problems can be solved by running into things.
Pile of lumber not quite stacked? Pick it up with a forklift and run it into that pole.
Not sure how close you are to the building? Just keep going till you hear the bump!
Truck doesn't start? Let's push it with mine!

[Best]
I've had guilt about the choices I make and the choices I haven't made yet, but see in the future. After a short conversation with the person who knows me best, these guilts are lifted free. while my body has yet to recover, my emotional wellness for the first time in over a year is back to 100%. I have realized that I must make the decisions that are right for me, and now that I've actually said it, it must be done.

Thank you for the encouragement, it was all I needed.