They touch in my reptile brain

Most of the time I skim, but sometimes I read.

I've been stuck on the same verse of "Thus Spake Zarathustra" for a while now. Let's talk some Nietzche.

The Despisers of the Body
To the despisers of the body I speak my word. I wish them neither to learn afresh, nor teach anew, but only to bid farewell to their own bodies - and thus become silent.
"Body am I and soul" - so says the child. And why should one not speak like children?
But the awakened one, the knowing one, says:"Body am I entirely, and nothing more; and soul is only the name of something in the body."
The body is a great wisdom, a plurality with one sense, a war and a peace, a flock and a shepherd.
An instrument of your body is also your small wisdom, my brother, which you cal "mind" - a little instrument and toy of your great wisdom.
"I" you say, and are proud of that word. But the greater thing - in which you are unwilling to believe - is your body with its great wisdom; that does not say "I," but does "I".

In his inauguration address, President Obama used the word "I" three times. I'm sure I've written these words here before. It takes a special frame of mind to not use that word which means most to each of us; the word we use to identify the self. It is to say that the thing which is currently being described had an audience, an action, a rational agent which was ME.

I use I a lot, and I won't be able to change that.


But it makes me think, why do I notice it now? Is it possible for me to go an entire day without using the word? I would continue to accentuate this one-letter-masterpiece, but no need, it's already capitalized.

Here's the thing, there is no need to avoid using this word, and the Obama fact? It's silly. There, I said it. It's stupid to try to cut ME out of MY words, because they are possessed by yours truly. More than this, I can no longer speak out of a mouth not mine sooner than I can deny my own experience.

I picked up a magazine on a whim called "THE BRAIN." Let ME try that again: In a magazine called "THE BRAIN", I read... fuck. Anyway, it seems that fact doesn't matter as long as the brain can be fooled. There was a study on people who reported being abducted by aliens where the brain was studied as they listened to themselves describe the abduction. They exibited the physiological symptoms similar to those apparent in PTSD patients, that they relived the experience. The memory triggered senses as though they were being felt in that moment, the occular nerves lit up as if they were being shown an alien face.

My favorite part was the other symptoms these patients had in common. They were all susceptible to hypnosis: described themselves as falling into daydreams easily, they read more than average, and had very empathetic reactions to stories. Most of the abductions occurred at night, in bed. How interesting. They reported waking and not being able to move, a phenomenon called sleep paralysis where the body wakes up during deep REM sleep when the brain shuts down motor functions.

Why would the brain do this? Well, if you're fighting vampires in your sleep and your motor cortex is still activated you'd be physically punching the sheets. And it's the same issue as the receptors firing off while they told the stories over again. The experience creates reality for the self, whether the reality is real or not.

This weeks assignment: I want to hear your dreams and your fears. What is something that isn't real that has affected you in a real way? I talk about my dreams all the time especially here, but I'll end this telling you about my latest dream, and why it was so special.

I'm being held prisoner by two men. There was another prisoner as well, but he didn't do anything honestly. We're sitting around a small card table, the two of us and one of them, the other is pacing around a cramped dusty room with a gun. He's telling us we have to stay still, and every time we move something bad happens, like he slaps us or something stupid. But the stakes get higher. We're given a moment to settle before we have to "freeze" and I try to trick these guys. I'm sitting across from one captor, I reach out and hold his hands in mine. He moves my leg crossed on the other knee with a toe. Just before the freeze time, he pulls his hands out of mine and crosses his arms on his chest, lays his head down and sleeps.

I stay still as long as possible with my hands held out in front of me, but eventually my thumbs twitch down into my palms, of course he saw, he stands me up. Points the gun at my right hand, I draw it into my chest. "Woah woah woah," I say or something, and he tells me to stick out my fucking hand. I act like I'm going to and draw it back a few times before snapping my hand all the way out for a split second and draw it in fast. The gun fires and he misses my hand. The adrenaline is pumping and I'm giddy. We all laugh together.

I woke that morning with a smile on my face. I felt more alive that morning than I could remember, and i also missed that man with the gun. I wanted to fall asleep and hang out with him for a while. Why?