Pretty. Odd.

Well it was worth it.

I got out into the city on New Years eve, something I swore I'd never do. When midnight rolled around I was long gone, but it was the thought of the thing. Anyway, I started off that day wandering around St Mark's, one of my favorite places; I picked up a creepy clown ski mask, a present for Dwight, and grabbed a couple slices of pizza.

Try meeting someone inside Penn Station, I dare you. Eventually I settled on meeting my friends on their train platform. Matt and Lindsay and Erin showed, Keri was stuck in Boston. I hope I see her again.

My last post didn't express the way I really felt. Don't think I'm a poor soul who didn't get anything for Christmas. Honestly, I got too much. I wasn't disappointed for not receiving presents from my aunt and uncle on Christmas day, but it's something different. Almost every year I've gotten a cd from my Uncle Keith: Green Day, Eve 6, I think one year I got Brand New, anyway, it's something that I had counted on, that I think all of us had counted on. In this sense it was strange being around all these people who you had something in common with, and then you lose that thing and you're just people. Can you tell when I generalize to transition into something bigger? Thing: I love my cousins. Another: I don't know my cousins. They're beautiful people I'm proud of, but they're doing their own thing. There I go again. Most of the time I'm ok with the changes...

I arrived back on campus on the 5th. And I realized some things.

I knew I was changing the first week I was on campus. I forced myself to be more social, to meet these new people, but this is old news. Now they are people I know, sure, but there are people inside this bigger thing who know me. That's my team in there.

I used to say if I won a million dollars I'd buy a hotel, put a melting pot in the basement, and invite all my friends to live there.
More things:
1. That'd be way more than a million unless we travelled back to the 30s (which I'd be ok with)
2. That'd be extremely boring

So: Take the boring out, take money away from everyone and you get where I am now. We've got the ideals, the work ethic, and we're doin'... stuff. together. Last night was the first full night back. I rode to the grocery store with the team making noises with the guys and flirting with the girls. Hot dogs. Pizza. Bagels. Milk. Cheese. And we're good. I guess I'm making lists today.

We ate shrimp and talked about New Orleans. Will made a pretty heavy speech about the gravity of the situation down there, so now we've been warned.

So how do I feel?
Excited.
Nervous.
Anxious.


And now that I've written again?
Content.